Written only using lines from random entries in my phone's Notes app

How I want to be treated and how I need to be treated might be different things

Make a decision tree

Tonight I kissed him in my dream and woke up kissing my pillow

Noting these small things will be for anthropological purposes for fearing forgetting

Maybe I will believe an ending doesn’t have to be a bad thing

In some dreams I’m losing teeth I don’t think they’re about fearing death I’m just afraid of losing

my teeth

Tomorrow I meet someone I don’t know her but I miss her I hate how attraction feels like loss

That’s a bad thing to not be good at

I get defensive when people say I’m obsessed Trying to translate love I don’t want love to be a problem

There is a flattening that happens

Are you sick of me yet do I make you long for who is next

This is my brain twitching in between time between tenses

There is a flattening that happens

I grow attached to double meanings

They grow even more clustered than I have ever seen roses grow

I often say, Imagine growing up here Imagine growing here

When I am forty-seven will I miss this feeling

What does this show about me thinking this question

I don’t know what else to do with pain I can’t let it sit

I plucked light from between the branches of a lemon tree tucked it under my tongue

Maybe this will mean something for someone

I feel a lot so much all the time All internalizations have to go somewhere tell me where can they go

I don’t think I ever believed the moon followed me Maybe it was just by chance every time

This is like from one of those movies people go to just to cry